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January 3, 2009

There were fewer than half a million Jews in the Warsaw ghetto. There are a million and a half Palestinians in the Gaza ghetto. Jews in the Warsaw ghetto resisted the Nazi occupation with whatever crude weapons they had. A few Germans were killed or wounded but it wasn't a fair fight. Palestinians are resisting the Israeli occupation. A few Jews have been killed or wounded but it's not a fair fight. Here are some excerpts from Chapter Forty-two of Oprah's Dead Son:

"...Things didn't work out for The Third Reich and handy-dandy, Jews got to be God's chosen people again. Jews got given the State of Israel because of all the wrong that got done to them by Hitler and the Nazis, the same way Hitler and the Nazis got given Germany on account of all the wrong that got done to Germans after the First World War. Jews can do no wrong on account of all the wrong that got done to them. The State of Israel can get away with murder the same way Nazis got away with murder. Turnabout is fair play. To the victors go the spoils. Might makes right. Because of the Holocaust, Israel doesn't have to abide by international law, the same way Hitler didn't have to abide by international law after the Treaty of Versailles. The Israeli Defense Force can attack and occupy any territory it wants to attack and occupy. UN resolutions have no effect on the State of Israel. Israel can kill and maim and kidnap anyone it wants to kill and maim and kidnap. Tens of thousands of Palestinians have been routinely tortured in Israeli jails for decades but let one lonely nineteen-year-old Jewish soldier take a wrong turn in Gaza and all holy hell breaks loose—and that's just for starters..." "...Who's more likely to nuke its neighbors? Iran? A country with no nuclear weapons who's a party in good standing to a global nonproliferation treaty? Or Israel? A country with close to four hundred nuclear warheads mounted on cruise missiles in submarines that can be launched in a matter of minutes against any other country in the world, a country with a paranoid-schizophrenic penchant for unprovoked attacks on other sovereign nations, a country that's not only not a party to a nonproliferation treaty but doesn't admit it has any nuclear weapons, period? What kind of big fat lie is that..." "...Jews are a hundred times more likely to be billionaires than anyone else 'cause everyone else in the world is terrified of Jews. The last thing you ever want to do is piss off a Jew. Why? Whoa, let me count the ways. First, Jews are in charge of propaganda for the multinational Nazi conglomerates that have all the money in the world, second, the State of Israel has more nuclear weapons than China, India, Pakistan and the UK put together and third, the United States will protect and defend Israel at all costs against all enemies forever because no politician can get elected in America without the support of Jews and guys who kiss up to Jews in the media and entertainment monopoly. If you piss off a Jew nobody will ever hear a word you have to say—you'll be blackballed, blacklisted, despised, rejected, demonized, ignored, intimidated—and if you piss of Israel you'll get nuked. It's a stacked deck..." "...A handful of Holocaust survivors and their offspring, with the all-pervasive media and entertainment monopoly on their side, are holding the whole world hostage. What should we be more worried about, Israeli cruise missiles armed with nuclear warheads being launched against the United States or Iran maybe enriching enough uranium to blow some Ayatollah's nose someday? The morons in media and entertainment will tell you it's the Ayatollah's nose we have to worry about. How absurd is that? You tell me. Those are the kinds of questions you can ask 'til the cows come home and not only will you never get an answer but nobody will ever even get to hear the question. Hitler and The Holocaust created a monster that's gonna give birth to a monster a thousand times worse than Hitler and the Holocaust ever were..." "...Israel's nuclear arsenal has been around since 1968. Every little community of ten thousand people in the State of Israel has its own personal nuclear weapon. There are sixty-five million people in Iran and the whole country doesn't have any nuclear weapons at all. Israel has unilaterally bombed other countries. Iran hasn't. Those are facts. One out of every four hundred people in the world is Jewish and one out of every three billionaires is a Jew. True or false? True..." "...The land of the free and the home of the brave has been ceded to a handful of Jews and guys who kiss up to Jews in media and entertainment who gear everything that gets into anyone's brain toward two overriding objectives, making money for corporate Nazis and protecting and defending the State of Israel to the last breath of life on earth—whatever it takes, however many trillions of dollars, however much innocent blood, there's nothing more important than making money and keeping Israel safe..." "...There wasn't much Israel and the United States liked better than Iran and Iraq killing and maiming each other to the tune of however many million people it was during the Iran-Iraq war. The more Muslims that kill each other, the fewer Muslims we're going to have to kill in order for Israel to be secure and live in peace. As long there are any self-respecting Muslims left in the Middle East, Israel's never gonna be secure. Nobody in Israel even wants to live in peace. What would there be to kvetch about? It's hard to play the hapless victim when you're pound-for-pound the most powerful nation on the planet. We've hitched our star to a tribe of crazy people.." "...The global Nazi oligarchy's gonna come out smelling like a rose no matter who wins or loses in the Middle East or anywhere else. Jews and guys who kiss up to Jews in the media and entertainment monopoly know how to perpetuate conflict, how to turn it into sizzle, how to sell it, how to capitalize on it. What progress has peace in the Middle East made in sixty years? None. Israel doesn't want an end to hostilities on any terms but its own and its terms are that as long as there's a single Islamic martyr willing to kill himself or herself in order to hurt a single Jew there's not gonna be an end to hostilities. Hostilities make money. There's always gonna be a quibble, a nuance, another nutty little Netanyahu nit to pick. Who's gonna solve that? The bottom line is that Israeli Jews and Arab Muslims don't hit it off, period, and it serves the purposes of media and entertainment to see to it that they never do. I suppose that's anti-Semitic, too..." "...If I'd lived in Nazi Germany, Hitler would've pissed me off. I would've tried to piss him off back. I may have ended up in Dachau but I'd way rather have been in Dachau than goose-stepping around with a swastika on my arm, swallowing Nazi schmaltz all day every day. Where I'm living now is in Nazi America, and it's guys like Si Newhouse and Sumner Redstone and Michael Bloomberg and David Geffen and Stephen Spielberg and Arthur Sulzberger and Jeff Berg and their lawyers and publicists and the army of politicians, college professors and think tank dweebs they own and operate who piss me off. They've got the whole world gagging on worthless, moneygrubbing Nazi schmaltz and drowning in mindless, thoughtless, criminally insane corporate-Nazi horseshit..."

Here's Ginny Good in its entirety. It's free, like me. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn1.html

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com
http://www.everyonewhosanyone.com

"...they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt
have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I am
whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any
kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be
thee, nuncle..."

Artellus Limited
30 Dorset House
Gloucester Place
London NW1 5AD

http://www.artellusltd.co.uk

Jenny Brown Associates
33 Argyle Place
Edinburgh EH9 1JT

http://www.jennybrownassociates.com

All fixed. Here's a free audio literary nonfiction chapter for you. Thanks. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch23m.mp3

Rochelle Stevens and Company
2 Terrets Place, Upper Street
London N1 1QZ

Marjacq Scripts
34 Devonshire Place
London, W1G 6JW

http://www.marjacq.com

Louise Greenberg Literary Agency
The End House, Church Crescent
London N3 1BG

HHB Agency, Ltd.
6 Warwick Court
London WC1R 5DJ

http://www.hhbagency.com

Valerie Hoskins Associates
20 Charlotte Street
London W1T 2NA

A & B Personal Management
Ste. 330, Linen Hall
162-168 Regent Street
London, W1B 5TD

The Standen Literary Agency
53 Hardwicke Road
London N13 4SL

http://www.standenliteraryagency.com

Janet Fillingham Associates
52 Lowther Road
London SW13 9NU

http://www.janetfillingham.com

Jeffrey Simmons
15 Penn House, Mallory Street
London NW8 8SX

Laura Morris Literary Agency
21 Highshore Road
London, SE15 5AA

Bryan Drew, Ltd.
Quadrant House
80-82 Regent Street
London W1B 5AU

Caroline Sheldon Literary Agency
70-75 Cowcross Street
London, EC1M 6EJ

http://www.carolinesheldon.co.uk

Imrie & Dervis Literary Agency
7 Carlton Mansions, Holmleigh Road
London N16 5PX

David Grossman Literary Agency
118B Holland Park Ave.
London W11 4UA

Anne Louise Fisher and Suzy Lucas
Literary Scouts
29 D'Arblay Street
London W1F 8EP

Tamar Karet Literary Agency
56 Priory Road, Crouch End
London N8 7EX

Rupert Heath Literary Agency

http://www.rupertheath.com

Merric Davidson Literary Agency
12 Priors Heath, Goudhurst
Kent TN17 2RE

http://www.mdla.co.uk

Gregory & Company
3 Barb Mews
London W6 7PA

http://www.gregoryandcompany.co.uk

Lisa Eveleigh Literary Agency
3rd Floor, 11/12 Dover Street
London W1S 4LJ

Lorella Belli Literary Agency
54 Hartford House
35 Tavistock Crescent
Notting Hill
London W11 1AY

http://www.lorellabelliagency.com

Darley Anderson Agency
Estelle House
11 Eustace Road
London SW6 1JB

http://www.darleyanderson.com

Lucy Luck Literary

http://www.lucyluck.com

Futerman, Rose & Associates
91 St Leonards Road
London SW14 7BL

http://www.futermanrose.co.uk

Thank you very much for contacting us concerning your work. I'm sorry to say that it is not for us but you should understand that we are a small company and as such, take on few new writers each year. Thank you for considering us and may I wish you success with the project elsewhere.

Thanks for your obviously unconsidered form letter. I'll add it to my stupendous collection. G.

The Hanbury Agency
28 Moreton Street
London, SW1V 2PE
+44 (0)20 7630 6768

http://www.hanburyagency.com

Lavinia Trevor Agency
29 Addison Place
London W11 4RJ
+44 (0)20 7603 5254

http://www.laviniatrevor.co.uk

Jonathan Clowes Ltd
Iron Bridge House, Bridge Approach
London NW1 8BD

Bell Lomax Moreton Agency
James House
1 Babmaes Street
London SW1Y 6HF
020 7930 4447

http://www.bell-lomax.co.uk

Christine Green Authors' Agent
6 Whitehorse Mews
Westminster Bridge Road
London SE1 7QD

http://www.christinegreen.co.uk

Dear Gerard, I looked at your web-site just the other day--it's enormous fun, and I do hope you continue with it. Loved the correspondence with Laura—was yours her first sale in the end? Will she not be looking after your other works? Anyway, great good luck to you both. As for us: we're a tiny agency and represent mostly fiction. We love good story-telling—though not, I fear, sci-fi or fantasy. Our web-site gives the submission procedures—we prefer hard copies as we don't have the capacity to print off the hundred or so submissions we get every week, and reading on screen has us demented already. We respond as quickly as possible, but it does, nevertheless, take a while. Best wishes, Christine Green

Dear Christine: Laura's straightforward and smart. We hit it off and yes, I think that the memoir, GINNY GOOD, was the first book she sold, but she's sold a few more since then. She also retained the audio rights so she's still working on those, as well. I'm trying to sell my other books on my own or through a different agent just to savor the whole process through different prisms and because I like to do impossible things. I'll include the information you provided. Glad you enjoyed the website. Thanks again. G.

Eve White Literary Agent
1a High Street
Kintbury RG17 9TJ
+44 (0)1488 657656

http://www.evewhite.co.uk

Hi Gerard, Thanks for directing me to your site. I'd love to hear from talented authors, first time and published, and they MUST look at my website for submission details as we update them frequently. We currently (Nov 08) accept adult books by email and children's by post, but that could change. I love comedy; I represent Andy Stanton (Roald Dahl Funny Prize), Rae Earl and Jimmy Docherty, but will look at all good fiction and non-fiction – see the site! Best wishes, Eve

Antony Harwood Ltd.
103 Walton Street
Oxford OX2 6EB
01865 559 615

http://www.antonyharwood.com

Andrew Lownie Literary Agency
36 Great Smith Street
London, SW1P 3BU

http://www.andrewlownie.co.uk

Dear Gerard, Congratulations on your website which, I can see, is a very valuable service to writers. I'm a small agency with about a hundred authors specialising in history and biography. Almost half the list are new writers and I'm happy to receive submissions (synopsis and sample chapter) by e-mail, fax or letter. I started the agency in 1988, having been a journalist, book seller, publisher and Director of Curtis Brown, because I felt there was room for a more personal service. The fact I am also a writer and have a legal background, I hope, gives me extra expertise and sympathy in dealing with authors and, as I'm the only member of staff, it means writers only deal with me and I read every single submission. I tend to sell US and film rights myself and take a long-term view in shaping a writer's career. I'm the literary agent to British PEN and founder of The Biographers Club. Hope this helps. Best wishes, Andrew Lownie

Dear Andrew: Absolutely perfect. Would that everyone were so forthcoming, succinct and informative. If you want a review copy of my narrative nonfiction book, Ginny Good, let me know and I'll have the publisher send you one. They own the UK rights and the film rights. And of course you're more than welcome to take a look at the samples from the other manuscripts I've put on the website, nobody owns them but me. Thanks. G.

Amanda Howard Associates
21 Berwick Street
London W1V 3RG

http://www.amandahowardassociates.co.uk

The Maggie Noach Literary Agency
7 Peacock Yard, Iliffe Street
London, SE17 3LH
020 7708 3073

http://www.mnla.co.uk

Maggie Pearlstine Associates Ltd.
31 Ashley Gardens, Ambrosden Avenue
London SW1P 1QE

Judith Murdoch Literary Agency
19 Chalcot Square
London NW1 8YA

Tanja Howarth Literary Agency
19 New Row
London WC2N 4LA

David Godwin Associates
55 Monmouth Street
London WC2H 9DG

Caroline Davidson Literary Agency
5 Queen Anne's Gardens
London, W4 1TU

http://www.cdla.co.uk

Dinah Wiener Ltd.
12 Cornwall Grove, Chiswick
London W4 2LB

The Ampersand Agency, Ltd.
Ryman's Cottages
Little Tew
Oxfordshire OX7 4JJ

http://www.theampersandagency.co.uk

Andrew Nurnberg Associates, Ltd.
Clerkenwell House
45-47 Clerkenwell Green
London EC1R 0HT

Mulcahy Conway Associates
15 Canning Passage
London W8 5AA
0207 938 3852

http://www.mca-agency.com

The Viney Agency
23 Erlanger Road
Telegraph Hill
London SE14 5TF

http://www.thevineyagency.com

Teresa Chris Literary Agency
43 Musard Road
London W6 8NR

Creative Authors
11-A Woodlawn Street, Whitstable, Kent, CT5 1HQ

http://www.creativeauthors.co.uk

Limelight Management
33 Newman Street
London W1T 1PY
020 7637 2529

http://www.limelightmanagement.com

Redhammer
186 Bickenhall Mansions
London W1U 6BX

http://www.redhammer.biz

Campbell Thomson & McLaughlin
1 King's Mews
London WC1N 2JA

Author Literary Agents
53 Talbot Road
Highgate
London N6 4QX

Chapman & Vincent
The Mount, Sun Hill
Royston
Hertfordshire SG8 9AT

Sayle Screen Ltd.
11 Jubilee Place
London SW3 3TD

The Sayle Literary Agency
Bickerton House
25--27 Bickerton Road
London N19 5JT

http://www.sayleliteraryagency.com

Elaine Steel
110 Gloucester Avenue
London NW1 8HX

Lou Coulson
37 Berwick Street,
London W1F 8RS

CCA Management
Garden Level,
32 Charlwood Street,
London SW1V 2DY

Creative Media Management
3B, Walpole Court,
Ealing Studios,
London W5 5ED

http://www.creativemediamanagement.com

Bigfish Management
Tudor House,
Llanvanor Road,
Child's Hill, London NW2 2AR

http://www.bigfishmanagement.com

Dorie Simmonds Agency
Riverbank House
One Putney Bridge Approach
London SW6 3JD
+44 (0)20 7736 0002

Attwooll Associates
90 Divinity Road
Oxford OX4 1LN
+44 1865 422230

http://www.attwoollassociates.com

Shelley Power Literary Agency, Ltd.
13 rue du Pré Saint Gervais, 75019
Paris, France

Susie Adams Rights Agency
8 Sullivan Road
London SE11 4UH

Shirley Stewart Literary Agency
3rd Floor
21 Denmark Street
London WC2H 8NA

John Pawsey Agency
60 Tarring High Street
Worthing
West Sussex BN14 7NR

PVA Management Limited
Hallow Park
Worcester WR2 6PG

http://www.pva.co.uk

Mic Cheetham Literary Agency
11-12 Dover Street
London W1S 4LJ

http://www.miccheetham.com

Rupert Crew, Ltd.
1A King's Mews
London WC1N 2JA

John Johnson Ltd.
Clerkenwell House
45-47 Clerkenwell Green
London EC1R 0HT

Radala & Associates
17 Avenue Mansions, Finchley Road
London NW3 7AX

Robert Smith Literary Agency, Ltd.
12 Bridge Wharf
156 Calendonian Road
London, N1 9UU

Intercontinental Literary Agency
Centric House
390-391 Strand
London WC2R 0LT
020 7379 6611

http://www.ila-agency.co.uk

Barbara Levy Literary Agency
64 Greenhill
Hampstead High Street
London NW3 5TZ

Laura Cecil Literary Agency
17 Alwyne Villas
London N1 2HG

Dorian Literary Agency
Upper Thornehill, 27 Church Road, St Marychurch
Torquay, Devon TQ1 4QY

Essential Works Limited
29 Clerkenwell Green
London EC1R 0DU

http://www.essentialworks.co.uk

Essential Works is taking on no new clients.

Author Management
P.O. Box 4646
Bournemouth,
Dorset. BH8 9ZF

http://www.author-management.com

Hello Gerard. If you are serious about wanting to get into print then you have to submit to that terrible condition, compromise. It doesn't kill, it doesn't even cause brain damage but it might hurt a bit at first. If you ever steel yourself for it, I would like to see the result. James Rouch.

I don't know what you mean by compromise, but if you don't think you can sell it you can't, I do know that. Thanks for taking a look. Make lots of money. G.

Gerard...Compromise...A half-way house between writing want you want to write and the hell with getting published...and writing what you need to write in the hope of getting published. James.

If I wanted exclusively to make money I'd write TV jingles or contrived mainstream schlock. Read Celine. Instant cash don't necessarily equate with longterm success. That which doesn't pander to the lowest common denominator's more valuable than that which does. You may come to know that someday or you may not. I wish you the best either way. G.

Hello Gerard. I have had many interesting responses to our entry on your web site and in fact have been able to offer representation, eventually, to some. Now though we have a full client list and our future needs will be met by recommendation. As a small agency I do prefer to work that way so would it please be possible to convey our situation to your readers? Sincerely, James Rouch

Dear James: Consider it conveyed. Thanks. G.

Rebecca Winfield Literary Agency
5-B Walpole Court
Ealing Studios
London, W5 5ED

Duncan McAra
28 Beresford Gardens
Edinburgh EH5 3ES

Cat Ledger Literary Agency
20-21 Newman Street
London W1T 1PG

Robert Dudley Agency
8 Abbotstone Road
London, SW15 1QR

Fox & Howard Literary Agency
4 Bramerton Street
London SW3 5JX

Eric Glass, Ltd.
25 Ladbroke Crescent, Notting Hill
London W11 1PS

Anubis Literary Agency
6 Birdhaven Close
Lighthorne Heath, Banbury Road
Warwick, CV35 OBE

Kate Hordern Literary Agency
18 Mortimer Road, Clifton
Bristol BS8 4EY

Andrew Mann
1 Old Compton Street
London W1D 5JA

http://www.andrewmann.co.uk

David O'Leary Literary Agency
10 Lansdowne Court, Lansdowne Rise
London W11 2NR

Canadian Literary Agents

Anne McDermid & Associates
92 Willcocks Street
Toronto, Ontario M5S 1C9
(416) 324-8845

http://www.mcdermidagency.com

The Bukowski Agency
14 Prince Arthur Avenue, Suite 202
Toronto, Ontario M5R 1A9

http://www.thebukowskiagency.com

The Rights Factory
PO Box 499, Station C
Toronto, ON M6J 3P6

http://www.therightsfactory.com

Westwood Creative Artists
94 Harbord Street
Toronto, Ont M5S-1G6

Beverley Slopen Literary Agency
131 Bloor St. W., Suite 711
Toronto, Canada M5S 1S3

http://www.slopenagency.on.ca

Helen Heller Literary Agency
32 Bayhampton Court
Toronto, ON M3H 5L6

892 Avenue Road
Toronto, ON M5P 2K6
(416) 489-0396.

http://www.helenhelleragency.com

The Cooke Agency Inc.
278 Bloor Street East, Suite 305
Toronto, ON M4W 3M4

P O Box 76003
Vancouver, BC V6E 4T2

http://www.cookeagency.ca

Bella Pomer Agency
22 Shallmar Blvd., PH-2
Toronto, ON M5N 2Z8

Carolyn Swayze Literary Agency
WRPO Box 39588
White Rock, B.C., Canada V4B 5L6
(604) 538-3478

http://www.swayzeagency.com

Seventh Avenue Literary Agency
1663 West 7th Avenue
Vancouver, BC V6J 1S4

http://www.seventhavenuelit.com

Spectrum Creative Services
341 Oakland Ave.
London, Ontario N5W

Transatlantic Literary Agency
72 Glengowan Road
Toronto, ON M4N 1G4

http://www.tla1.com

Robert Lecker Agency
4055 Melrose Avenue
Montreal, H4A 2S5
(514) 830-4818

http://www.leckeragency.com

Rick Broadhead & Associates
47 St. Clair Ave. West, Ste. 501
Toronto, ON M4V 3A5

Pamela Paul Agency
12 Westrose Avenue
Toronto, Ontario M8X 1Z9

Spiridon Literary Agency
PO Box 47594
946 Lawrence Ave. E., Ste. 2
Toronto, ON M3C 1P0

Acacia House Publishing Services
51 Acacia Road
Toronto, Ontario M4S 2K6

P.S. Literary Agency
20033-520 Kerr Street
Oakville, Ontario L6K 3C7

http://www.psliterary.com

Irish Literary Agents

Marianne Gunn O'Connor Literary Agency
Morrison Chambers, Ste. 17
32 Nassau Street
Dublin 2, Republic of Ireland

Book Bureau Literary Agency
7 Duncairn Avenue, Bray
Co. Wicklow
Republic of Ireland

Lisa Richards Agency
46 Upper Baggot Street
Dublin 4, Ireland

(@) = Not a corporate fascist. (Feel free to apply for non-corporate fascist status...simply tell me in fifty words or fewer why you think you're not a corporate fascist.)

(*) = E-mail bounced. Correct information much appreciated. In fact, anyone who knows anything I don't know, let me know.

(!) = E-mail blocked (just mine, not yours), probably 'cause the intended recipient and/or the company by which he or she is owned and operated is an extra brainwashed, super chicken, corporate fascist goon.

(666) = Asked not to be contacted (by me, not by you), very likely because he or she is a happy little slave boy or a happy little slave girl and doesn't want it any other way, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com